Note: This has been copy and pasted from my Instagram account. I’m not opening comments here, but you can DM me over there or feel free to send an email. Just one little way I can protect my peace.
Nearly three years ago I broached the subject of separation to Eric for the first time. It was terrifying for both of us, and I tried to stuff the words back in. But once you hear the truth in your own voice, there is never really any going back. After a lot of therapy, spiritual direction, and soul searching, we formally separated last fall and are currently doing the paperwork to file for divorce.
Yes, it was my decision. I have never once doubted that it was the right one, but the pain of hurting someone I love has been the most searing pain of my life. I can't believe my body still has the ability to make tears after the oceans that were shed. The grief has been tremendous. And yet the holiness of honoring my own discernment has been even weightier.
I can't think of anything more futile than attempting to explain my reasons to thousands of strangers on the internet, and I won't be doing that today. It's enough to say that I love Eric, and Eric loves me, and that will never change. But the expression of that love is changing, and we are still in the midst of reimagining what that means.
I love my family so much, in every form and through every change. I am grateful for the past, peaceful about the present, and hopeful for the future.
- Shannon