I am a rule follower - and not just a rule follower, but a rule WINNER, as I told my husband the other night. Give me guidelines and I will get an A+ in them. I will follow the shit out of them *unless* I decide the rule is unjust, and I don't need any outside confirmation or validation of this fact. In that case, the rule doesn't apply anymore and I am duty bound to not only break it, but change it and make sure everyone else knows how stupid it is (classic enneagram 1, and also some big oldest sister energy in that philosophy).
There are a lot of rules to be broken out there. Here's to John Lewis and "Good Trouble" in all spheres of life.
I love what you said about becoming a rule breaker as you became a woman. I feel this to be true for myself too!! Rule following child with a rich inner life and imagination - I often dreamed of being a rule breaker. Wasn’t until my teens and adulthood that I found the courage to break the rules. There seemed like an urgency to do so, to survive! Now to work on breaking the rules I have set for myself... 🤔
I think of myself as a rules follower. My wife will tell you that I make up the rules as I go. I guess I will break a rule here and there but only ones that I think make little sense and only if I think it will have no ill effect on others.
“When the world demands your conformity or uniformity or agreeability, I hope you think of this post and do what you must to hold onto yourself”
Thank you for a thoughtful and thought-provoking post, a reassuring entry into this out-of-control carnival ride that is the new year.
Is it seemly to wonder about balance when considering rule breaking, or even simply ‘holding onto oneself’?
I’m thinking of how that plays out in day jobs, where bureaucratic mediocrity is stifling, but must be endured for the sake of the day job’s weekly paycheck?
Or how that plays out in, say, a supermarket with its own understaffed bureaucratic mediocrity, where shouting out in frustration at the discovery of some new lack is frowned upon?
How are we to think about rule-breaking when so much of that is on display in the political arena and contributing to long term harm of this country’s people and institutions? Rule breaking, by definition, was always transgressive, but now has a bad reputation.
It will take some thoughtful thinking and careful planning to find rule breaking that is composed of attending and respecting and even loving.
I hadn’t been thinking about rule-breaking chickens in Iowa until now; thank you.
I loved this, Shannon, wandering chickens and all! As a child and teen I found a lot of security and identity in my “good girl” status. It honestly wasn’t until I became a mother to daughters that I started cringing at what was the expectation of their behavior or futures.
After reading Rewilding Motherhood I felt seen and heard in that stirring rebellion, so thank you ❤️
I’ve dubbed this my year of unhinged writing. Let it be honest, true, and fully, wildly spirit led. With less concern with other’s opinions. So I appreciate this permission slip!
I’m reading this a week late because I turned off Substack notifications because they were stressing me out. Is that rule breaking? Not sure. I need to lock up my chicken now (only one left 😬). I also became a rule-breaker a bit later. But only sometimes because I only do most things sometimes. I was saying to my mum earlier that sometimes it’s nice to have a rest from making decisions, but that I also hate being told what to do... (enneagram 4w5 🫠)
I always laugh that it was fun growing up a lawyers daughter. I always tried to follow the rules, but I was a keen observer about interpretation of rules. If there was a loophole to find I would find it! Sometimes the parentals would later disagree with interpretation and I would be punished anyway, but I always felt I was in the right. “Well, what you SAID was...”. It’s served me well in my adult life I think. After having my daughter and working from home, I knew my right to “express breastmilk” whenever needed as a break from work was protected under the law. It does not specify whether a pump had to be used for said expressing. So I always just let my much more efficient baby take care of that for us!
Breaking the rule of agreeableness -- I am an enneagram 9/youngest child/peacemaker from the south. I’ve been addicted to smiling my whole life and I’m trying to kick it 🤪
I recently realized, with the help of my ADHD coach, that I'm actually an Enneagram 1 (rather than the 9 and 6 I had previously typed myself). 🤯 This has been a VERY eye-opening discovery, especially with rule following. My current phrase of contemplation is 'seek curiosity, not perfection' and it's been very interesting to hold in tandem with my rule-following bent.
My intention for the year is to listen to my heart and speak my truth... My guess is this will eventually require some rule breaking... Which is usually uncomfortable for me, but I think could also be liberating.
I am a rule follower - and not just a rule follower, but a rule WINNER, as I told my husband the other night. Give me guidelines and I will get an A+ in them. I will follow the shit out of them *unless* I decide the rule is unjust, and I don't need any outside confirmation or validation of this fact. In that case, the rule doesn't apply anymore and I am duty bound to not only break it, but change it and make sure everyone else knows how stupid it is (classic enneagram 1, and also some big oldest sister energy in that philosophy).
There are a lot of rules to be broken out there. Here's to John Lewis and "Good Trouble" in all spheres of life.
I love what you said about becoming a rule breaker as you became a woman. I feel this to be true for myself too!! Rule following child with a rich inner life and imagination - I often dreamed of being a rule breaker. Wasn’t until my teens and adulthood that I found the courage to break the rules. There seemed like an urgency to do so, to survive! Now to work on breaking the rules I have set for myself... 🤔
Can I just say, this short, poppy writing is what we all need right now.
I think of myself as a rules follower. My wife will tell you that I make up the rules as I go. I guess I will break a rule here and there but only ones that I think make little sense and only if I think it will have no ill effect on others.
“When the world demands your conformity or uniformity or agreeability, I hope you think of this post and do what you must to hold onto yourself”
Thank you for a thoughtful and thought-provoking post, a reassuring entry into this out-of-control carnival ride that is the new year.
Is it seemly to wonder about balance when considering rule breaking, or even simply ‘holding onto oneself’?
I’m thinking of how that plays out in day jobs, where bureaucratic mediocrity is stifling, but must be endured for the sake of the day job’s weekly paycheck?
Or how that plays out in, say, a supermarket with its own understaffed bureaucratic mediocrity, where shouting out in frustration at the discovery of some new lack is frowned upon?
How are we to think about rule-breaking when so much of that is on display in the political arena and contributing to long term harm of this country’s people and institutions? Rule breaking, by definition, was always transgressive, but now has a bad reputation.
It will take some thoughtful thinking and careful planning to find rule breaking that is composed of attending and respecting and even loving.
I hadn’t been thinking about rule-breaking chickens in Iowa until now; thank you.
I loved this, Shannon, wandering chickens and all! As a child and teen I found a lot of security and identity in my “good girl” status. It honestly wasn’t until I became a mother to daughters that I started cringing at what was the expectation of their behavior or futures.
After reading Rewilding Motherhood I felt seen and heard in that stirring rebellion, so thank you ❤️
I’ve dubbed this my year of unhinged writing. Let it be honest, true, and fully, wildly spirit led. With less concern with other’s opinions. So I appreciate this permission slip!
I’m reading this a week late because I turned off Substack notifications because they were stressing me out. Is that rule breaking? Not sure. I need to lock up my chicken now (only one left 😬). I also became a rule-breaker a bit later. But only sometimes because I only do most things sometimes. I was saying to my mum earlier that sometimes it’s nice to have a rest from making decisions, but that I also hate being told what to do... (enneagram 4w5 🫠)
I always laugh that it was fun growing up a lawyers daughter. I always tried to follow the rules, but I was a keen observer about interpretation of rules. If there was a loophole to find I would find it! Sometimes the parentals would later disagree with interpretation and I would be punished anyway, but I always felt I was in the right. “Well, what you SAID was...”. It’s served me well in my adult life I think. After having my daughter and working from home, I knew my right to “express breastmilk” whenever needed as a break from work was protected under the law. It does not specify whether a pump had to be used for said expressing. So I always just let my much more efficient baby take care of that for us!
Our HOA technically says we can’t have chickens too and we have debated about being rule breakers and you’ve just convinced me we definitely should.
Breaking the rule of agreeableness -- I am an enneagram 9/youngest child/peacemaker from the south. I’ve been addicted to smiling my whole life and I’m trying to kick it 🤪
I recently realized, with the help of my ADHD coach, that I'm actually an Enneagram 1 (rather than the 9 and 6 I had previously typed myself). 🤯 This has been a VERY eye-opening discovery, especially with rule following. My current phrase of contemplation is 'seek curiosity, not perfection' and it's been very interesting to hold in tandem with my rule-following bent.
My intention for the year is to listen to my heart and speak my truth... My guess is this will eventually require some rule breaking... Which is usually uncomfortable for me, but I think could also be liberating.
My word for the year is fearless so rule breaking is definitely in. Idk which rules yet! But they will be broken
2023 I started breaking eldest daughter/granddaughter rules and I’m taking that into 2024
Happy 2024! Hopefully no interference from “time outs,” wooden spoons, fly swatters, etc! 😉🥰
Your chicken has shiny white fulsome feathers. Who wouldn’t love her! Nice piece!