Whole heartedly agree that this line missed the mark. I wonder if they were trying to get at future generations standing on the shoulders of giants or something like that. I think there were several places in the movie (the famous monologue for example) where the writing could have been way better
OK thanks for saying this. Because I know everyone loves that monologue, but when I heard it after first hearing the hype about it I was like, "that's it?" I mean it was good, don't get me wrong, but it didn't knock me off my feet. I do feel like the writing could have been stronger, even while really liking it overall.
I loved - I mean, LOVED - this movie, but that line filled me with rage. I've seen 'Barbie' seven times (I know, embarrassing), & each time that line has come around, I've looked for a deeper (better?) meaning (because I thought, given Greta's whole deal, surely it can't mean what it sounds like it means?), but I can't find it. And, because I've seen so many mothers say the line made them cry, I keep asking the ones I know, "What does this line even *mean* to you?," but no one really gets it. It seems like total nonsense to me - like, what does it even mean *in the context of the scene*? Even if I take it totally at face value, to mean mothers are martyrs who "stand still," it feels like it comes totally out of nowhere, like it was spliced in to sound "profound."
(The most charitable interpretation I've heard is that she's saying mothers have to let go of their daughters/creations, let them become humans of their own & experience all the joys & sorrows of humanity, which is a beautiful idea for that particular scene, but also...it's not what she said. If that's what she meant, that's what she should have said, haha.)
Anyway, I've been thinking & talking about this for weeks, so thanks for writing about it & for letting me read others' feelings & air my own in this comment section, haha. :)
I absolutely agree with everything you said here. Even if taken at face value, it would be random and odd. Gerwig is so thoughtful and intentional, I almost wonder if she did it to provoke conversation. Though that feels like a wide swing.
That's what I keep going back to - was it an oversight? Was it intentional? It seems like too pivotal a point in the movie to have been in oversight... So what was she trying to say with that?
I had this exact same reaction to that line! I whipped out my phone and wrote it down in all caps in an email to myself, right there in the theater, because I thought about writing this exact essay. But you beat me to it (thanks, summer cold that has lasted TEN DAYS). I thought that line stood in such stark contrast to the messaging of the entire rest of the film...it felt like such an outlier!
Yes, exactly! I continue to be very confused about how it made its way into the film -- and why it wasn’t caught and removed. A very curious (and telling) oversight.
The complex experience of motherhood. Holy work always
I love that we are all going through our own and collective experiences of motherhood. I read all your posts. I feel like my little corner is a little different, but there’s an activist part of me in there, and I resonate with you very much in your fight and desire to love people. I spent years fighting for those on the outskirts in my role as a counslor.
For now, my constant job is that of caring for my two babies under two. My son, born in May, with Down Syndrome, and the doctors weren’t sure he would make it during my pregnancy. I see myself wanting to be more even as I feel myself doing less in the world now, if that makes sense. For now. I am still a dreamer, thinker, writer, but this time the posts come slower and with many typos as I run the race before me.
I’m so glad you contributed this comment Julie, because I think you’ve really hit on something. It feels like there is this myth that to be at home caretaking means you are (to use the words from this line and this post) standing still, which couldn’t be further from my intention. I don’t think it has anything to do with the number of hours we spend or don’t spend caregiving, but rather that it’s an internal state. We can abandon ourselves and still look busy and important to the outside world. We can refuse to stand still and spend our entire days washing dishes and changing diapers. It’s not about what we “do” but how alive we feel in our own body and skin. It’s about deeply belonging to ourselves no matter what it looks like from the outside.
Yes, yes, 1,000 times YES. It gutted me when she said that, because all I could think was “but I’m not done yet...”. Thanks for writing this and putting it into words so well.
Yes! I wasn’t sure to make of that line! I remember being like... what? I still think it’s weird the way it’s worded but I loved this take (and you know I love your book😘)
It felt so antithetical to the rest of the movie! Which was so weird. I love Greta Gerwig but... this ain't it. And when I was googling around to see what had been written about it, there was only a bunch of sentimental agreement that felt really unexamined to me.
Yes to every word of this!!!! The idea that we are "done" so our kids can go farther is ridiculous!
Like, who OKAYED that line?!?
Whole heartedly agree that this line missed the mark. I wonder if they were trying to get at future generations standing on the shoulders of giants or something like that. I think there were several places in the movie (the famous monologue for example) where the writing could have been way better
OK thanks for saying this. Because I know everyone loves that monologue, but when I heard it after first hearing the hype about it I was like, "that's it?" I mean it was good, don't get me wrong, but it didn't knock me off my feet. I do feel like the writing could have been stronger, even while really liking it overall.
Exactly! It hit key points but was just not well written
Exactly this!!!! Thank you for expressing it so beautifully!!!
Thanks for the high five!
👏🏻 I smiled and smiled reading this and had a hell yer! No standing still!!!
No ma'am!
That line really bothered me too. Thanks for unpacking it!
Thanks for reading!
I loved - I mean, LOVED - this movie, but that line filled me with rage. I've seen 'Barbie' seven times (I know, embarrassing), & each time that line has come around, I've looked for a deeper (better?) meaning (because I thought, given Greta's whole deal, surely it can't mean what it sounds like it means?), but I can't find it. And, because I've seen so many mothers say the line made them cry, I keep asking the ones I know, "What does this line even *mean* to you?," but no one really gets it. It seems like total nonsense to me - like, what does it even mean *in the context of the scene*? Even if I take it totally at face value, to mean mothers are martyrs who "stand still," it feels like it comes totally out of nowhere, like it was spliced in to sound "profound."
(The most charitable interpretation I've heard is that she's saying mothers have to let go of their daughters/creations, let them become humans of their own & experience all the joys & sorrows of humanity, which is a beautiful idea for that particular scene, but also...it's not what she said. If that's what she meant, that's what she should have said, haha.)
Anyway, I've been thinking & talking about this for weeks, so thanks for writing about it & for letting me read others' feelings & air my own in this comment section, haha. :)
I absolutely agree with everything you said here. Even if taken at face value, it would be random and odd. Gerwig is so thoughtful and intentional, I almost wonder if she did it to provoke conversation. Though that feels like a wide swing.
I wish we could have a conversation with her about it. I found myself googling "how to get in touch with Greta Gerwig," haha.
That's what I keep going back to - was it an oversight? Was it intentional? It seems like too pivotal a point in the movie to have been in oversight... So what was she trying to say with that?
I had this exact same reaction to that line! I whipped out my phone and wrote it down in all caps in an email to myself, right there in the theater, because I thought about writing this exact essay. But you beat me to it (thanks, summer cold that has lasted TEN DAYS). I thought that line stood in such stark contrast to the messaging of the entire rest of the film...it felt like such an outlier!
Yes, exactly! I continue to be very confused about how it made its way into the film -- and why it wasn’t caught and removed. A very curious (and telling) oversight.
Ahhhh thank you! I felt something off about it too but didn’t have the energy to articulate.
It took me a couple of weeks 😆
Yeeeeessss! That line broke my heart, and you're right -- no one is talking about it!! We do not stand still. Period.
😊
The complex experience of motherhood. Holy work always
I love that we are all going through our own and collective experiences of motherhood. I read all your posts. I feel like my little corner is a little different, but there’s an activist part of me in there, and I resonate with you very much in your fight and desire to love people. I spent years fighting for those on the outskirts in my role as a counslor.
For now, my constant job is that of caring for my two babies under two. My son, born in May, with Down Syndrome, and the doctors weren’t sure he would make it during my pregnancy. I see myself wanting to be more even as I feel myself doing less in the world now, if that makes sense. For now. I am still a dreamer, thinker, writer, but this time the posts come slower and with many typos as I run the race before me.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here :).
I’m so glad you contributed this comment Julie, because I think you’ve really hit on something. It feels like there is this myth that to be at home caretaking means you are (to use the words from this line and this post) standing still, which couldn’t be further from my intention. I don’t think it has anything to do with the number of hours we spend or don’t spend caregiving, but rather that it’s an internal state. We can abandon ourselves and still look busy and important to the outside world. We can refuse to stand still and spend our entire days washing dishes and changing diapers. It’s not about what we “do” but how alive we feel in our own body and skin. It’s about deeply belonging to ourselves no matter what it looks like from the outside.
I really did not like that line! I am so surprised that no one else has commented on it. Thanks for pointing it out!
THANK YOU 😤
VERKLEMPT. And also, you put words precisely to the reaction I had to that line, which bothered and niggled. This says the "why" so well!
(My favorite word ever.) And OK I'm really glad it wasn't just me. Thanks S!
Yes, yes, 1,000 times YES. It gutted me when she said that, because all I could think was “but I’m not done yet...”. Thanks for writing this and putting it into words so well.
OK I'm really glad to know I wasn't alone in having a strong reaction in that moment! "I'm not done yet" = YES.
Yes! I wasn’t sure to make of that line! I remember being like... what? I still think it’s weird the way it’s worded but I loved this take (and you know I love your book😘)
It felt so antithetical to the rest of the movie! Which was so weird. I love Greta Gerwig but... this ain't it. And when I was googling around to see what had been written about it, there was only a bunch of sentimental agreement that felt really unexamined to me.
You're always out to find or see the nuance and I love that about you!