the treacherous territory of children's bibles

and why buying one is a political act

Have you ever cringed while reading a children’s Bible to a kid? Yeah, same. After all, theology matters: It affects the way we interpret the world, the way we treat other people, the choices we make personally and communally. Diluting conversation about divinity and humanity down to overly simplistic, ahistorical, binary and uncurious thinking is not a benign act. It’s downright dangerous.

Right now we’re seeing that truth play out in real time on the national stage. This moment requires that we take spiritual formation seriously — especially for those who identify as Christian, as Christian nationalism becomes a plague in our country.

As a parent who is extremely picky about religious content for my children, I was excited to be asked to contribute to a new resource that “views the Bible as the beginning of a conversation, not the end of one;” a children’s Bible that takes historical context into account, acknowledges discrepancies, and actually encourages questions.

Coming soon, to Easter baskets near you.

I can’t take credit for this children’s Bible — after all, I only contributed one brief story to it; one voice among many. (Kind of like the actual Bible. Which is… the point.) But I will say they gave me the best one. The one every kid flips to first, or okay fine, at least third. (It’s hard to compete with the drama of animals being saved from the end of the world via boat, or a kid killing a giant with a slingshot. I am realistic about my competition here.)

My copy of God’s Stories as Told by God’s Children came in the mail recently, but I didn’t mention it to my kids. I just left it on the living room coffee table to see if they would pick it up on their own because this is not my first rodeo. I’ve been parenting for 14 years and I can tell you that the fastest way to get a kid to read a book is to leave it lying around and make absolutely no indication that you care one way or the other whether they ever ever ever in their godforsaken lives think about touching that book. Actually, what book? You don’t even see a book.

Less than 24 hours later, my daughter brought it into the kitchen where I was making lunch. “I’ve never seen this before.” It was both a statement and an inquiry. I told her that it’s a new children’s Bible and that I wrote the story of baby Jesus being born, and she lost her ever loving kindergarten mind. “WHAT?! THAT’S MY FAVORITE ONE!!!” Smugly flipping pages past Noah and David’s lame ass stories, I found “Welcome Baby Jesus” and started reading.

Now look, I approached this story with true seriousness. The nativity is my absolute favorite Bible story, and the more I’ve learned about it over the years the truer that has become. It’s weaving of history and myth fascinates me. It’s intersectional feminist overtones inspire me. It’s exploration of power intrigues me. I tried to do justice to these elements that I value so much.

And also, I’m a mom. I know that kids are more likely to return over and over again to a story if there is just one single solitary moment of comic relief.

So I got to the part where I wrote that the shepherds were “probably a little stinky” and… guys. She lost her shit. CRACKED UP. “Wait, mom, did you really write that? Like for real, for real?” She then did her best sounding out work to confirm for herself. More giggles erupt. “Mommy, you are hilarious!”

That will be all the review I’ll be needing. Which is good, because my older children have given me nothing.

You too can giggle with the kids in your life over the olfactory sensation that is sheep herders, because God’s Stories releases this Tuesday, March 25th.